Invisible chains : overcoming coercive control in your intimate relationship / Lisa Aronson Fontes.

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

When you are showered with attention, it can feel incredibly romantic and can blind you to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when attentiveness becomes domination? In some relationships, the desire to control leads to jealousy, gaslighting, threats, micromanaging--even physical violence. If you or someone you care about are trapped in a web of coercive control, this book provides answers, hope, and a way out. Lisa Aronson Fontes draws on both professional expertise and personal experience to help you:



*Recognize controlling behaviors of all kinds.

*Understand why this destructive pattern occurs.

*Determine whether you are in danger and if your partner can change.

*Protect yourself and your kids.

*Find the support and resources you need.

*Take action to improve or end your relationship.

*Regain your freedom and independence.

Table of contents provided by Syndetics

• About This Book (p. xiii)
• How to Use This Book (p. xv)
• Who I Am and Why I Wrote This Book (p. xv)
• Part I What is Coercive Control? (p. 1)
• 1 Introduction to Coercive Control (p. 3)
• The Continuum of Coercive Control (p. 8)
• Coercive Control in Context (p. 11)
• 2 Controlling Behaviors (p. 14)
• Isolating (p. 14)
• Cutting Off Contacts (p. 15)
• Cutting Off Access to Employment and Money (p. 18)
• Ruining Her Reputation and Relationships (p. 20)
• Isolating through Technology (p. 21)
• Isolating Immigrant Women (p. 23)
• The Special Isolation of Military Families (p. 24)
• Coercive Entrapment (p. 26)
• Resisting Isolation (p. 27)
• Micromanaging Everyday Life and Setting Rules (p. 27)
• Stalking and Monitoring (p. 30)
• Abusing Physically and Sexually (p. 32)
• Threatening and Punishing (p. 36)
• Guns and Other Weapons (p. 38)
• Manipulating (p. 40)
• Lying (p. 40)
• Withholding and the Silent Treatment (p. 42)
• Mind Games and Gaslighting (p. 44)
• Manipulating through Status and Special Skills (p. 46)
• Belittling and Degrading (p. 49)
• More Than Just Insults (p. 50)
• Degrading through Sex (p. 51)
• Extreme Degradation (p. 54)
• Controlling a Woman through Her Children (p. 55)
• Distancing a Mother from Her Children (p. 56)
• Undermining Her Parenting (p. 57)
• Threatening Her Children (p. 58)
• Part II Why Coercive Control Happens (p. 61)
• 3 Why Some Men Control Their Partners in This Way (p. 63)
• Children Learn Their Gender Roles (p. 63)
• Boys Learn to Control and Abuse (p. 65)
• This Moment in History (p. 67)
• Men's Struggles Influence Their Behavior (p. 69)
• Trauma (p. 70)
• Alcohol, Drugs, and Mental Illness (p. 73)
• Why Some Men Won't Let Go (p. 75)
• 4 Why Some Women Get and Stay Involved (p. 77)
• All Women Are Vulnerable (p. 77)
• Trapped by Romance, Love, and Confused Feelings (p. 79)
• Trapped by Gender Expectations (p. 83)
• Trapped by Caretaking (p. 85)
• Trapped by Circumstances (p. 87)
• Trapped by Violence and Threats (p. 89)
• Managing the Unmanageable (p. 89)
• Resisting Every Day: Control in the Context of Being Controlled (p. 91)
• Part III Coercive Control in Specific Populations (p. 95)
• 5 Different Gender Arrangements and Coercive Control (p. 97)
• LGBT People Facing Coercive Control (p. 97)
• Women Using Coercive Control with Their Male Partners (p. 101)
• 6 Teenage Victims of Coercive Control (p. 104)
• Teenagers' Vulnerabilities (p. 105)
• Isolation, Stalking, and Possessiveness (p. 107)
• Image Management (p. 109)
• Physical Abuse and Domination (p. 110)
• Drinking and Drugs (p. 111)
• Sexual Pressure (p. 112)
• Cell Phones and Computers (p. 114)
• Teens with Older Partners (p. 115)
• Pregnant and Mothering Teens (p. 116)
• LGBT Teens (p. 118)
• Young People Helping Each Other (p. 118)
• For Adults Who Care about Teens (p. 120)
• Part IV Ending Coercive Control (p. 123)
• 7 Are You Being Victimized? (p. 125)
• Assessing the Relationship (p. 125)
• Controlling Relationship Assessment (p. 127)
• Assessing Lethality: Risk of Death (p. 137)
• Assessing Your Coping Strategies (p. 138)
• Final Thoughts on Assessing Your Relationship (p. 140)
• Reaching a Decision (p. 141)
• 8 Are You Staying? Expecting Change? (p. 145)
• Staying in the Relationship (p. 145)
• If a Controlling Person Wants to Change (p. 148)
• How Do You Know If a Controlling or Abusive Person Has Changed? (p. 151)
• When a Controlling Man Stops Being Physically Violent (p. 154)
• 9 Ending the Relationship (p. 156)
• Seek Support (p. 158)
• Domestic Violence Agencies (p. 159)
• Therapy or Counseling (p. 160)
• Medical Help (p. 161)
• Police and Advocates (p. 163)
• How Will the Abuser Respond If You End the Relationship? (p. 165)
• Create a Safety Plan (p. 167)
• If Your Partner Has Access to Guns (p. 168)
• Protect Your Money (p. 169)
• Protect Your Children (p. 171)
• If He Stalks You (p. 173)
• How Others May Respond If You End the Relationship (p. 176)
• Final Thoughts on Ending a Relationship of Coercive Control (p. 177)
• If the Abuser Ends the Relationship (p. 178)
• 10 Feeling Like Yourself Again: Recovering from Coercive Control (p. 180)
• How You May Feel If You End the Relationship Forgiving? (p. 183)
• Some Tips for Recovering from a Coercive Control Relationship (p. 185)
• Entering a New Relationship (p. 188)
• 11 If Someone You Care About Is Being Victimized by Coercive Control (p. 191)
• Especially for Family and Friends (p. 193)
• For Professionals in the Field (p. 194)
• 12 Conclusion (p. 199)
• Resources (p. 203)
• References (p. 208)
• Index (p. 209)
• Acknowledgments (p. 218)
• About the Author (p. 220)

Author notes provided by Syndetics